Quintumply's Splendor Palace

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Quintumply

My my, it’s been a long time since I was last here.  Longer than a 30cm ruler, that’s for sure.  Possibly longer than a yardstick as well, but I’m not really up for proving that right now.

So anyway, all I’ve been hearing about recently is something to do with “politics”.  I assume it’s a misspelling of the term, “polytick”, which is a digitally rendered parasite.  I could be wrong, however.  I’ve not really delved into what’s causing all these polyticks to suddenly get everyone talking.

Although now that I think about it, there have been three names mentioned above all else.  Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg.  One can only assume that these are the chief polyticks, battling for reign over their followers.  Voting is being talked about a lot too, you see.  Personally, I have no idea what their differences are, beyond that they presumably look different.  I doubt they’d smell different, as digital images don’t tend to have a smell.  Who can say?

That’s about all the information I have gathered from the likes of Facebook and Twitter.  I don’t find it particularly interesting, but I thought I’d better alert you all of what is seemingly a large topic at the moment.  I’ll be sure to keep you posted on which “MP” (Marvelous Polytick) gains leadership. 

I was going to type out a nice, long day in the life of my given alter-ego, BFK, but then I started considering the potential consequences of claiming to be a vicious murderer on the internet.

So I decided against it.

Instead, an article from an imaginary newspaper:

“BABY FACED KILLER

At 4am yesterday in McDrummelsby estate, a baby five months of age witnessed the breaking and entering of none other than the infamous Velvet Moss Killer.

The child, whom has been requested to remain anonymous, has been traumatised by the incident, showing no signs of ceasing crying.  As the baby is the soul witness of the crime, few details have emerged; the tell-tale broken window and a torn piece of the Velvet Moss Killer’s costume are the police’s main clues.  After prolonged searching, the parents, who also wish to remain anonymous, cannot find anything missing from their home, adding another layer of mystery to the case.  The police have no leads as to why the serial killer broke into the flat or his current whereabouts.

The father of the baby spoke to us for a few moments.  ’It’s extremely upsetting.  The thought that a serial killer broke into our home unbeknownst to the wife and I - and that our baby had to face him alone - is mind boggling.

‘He started screaming and crying at around four in the morning, and from then on he’s not stopped.  It’s very hard to deal with.

‘He must have stayed very silent while the killer was in his room; I have no doubt that had the killer noticed him awake, things would be much more serious.’

The mother was too upset to speak with us.

A private investigator claims the Velvet Moss Killer broke into the child’s bedroom window at approximately 4am, tearing his velvet cloak on the broken glass and then proceeded to search the baby’s room, as fingerprints were found on a toy box and chest of drawers.  Tests have concluded that these fingerprints don’t belong to either of the parents.

THIS STORY CONTINUED ON PAGE 14.”

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Quintumply

Going back to my Facebook experiment, I’ve decided to postpone it until I can be bothered to conduct further research.

There’s a page on Facebook entitled, “Don’t fall in love, fall off a bridge.  It hurts less”.  How do you know this?  Unless an adventurous and infatuated man falls off a bridge and confirms this, there’s not going to be any evidence as to which is more painful.

Also, is it really possible to accurately compare physical pain with emotional pain?  Discuss.

Neglected blog is neglected.

Interesting.

My status update, “Dancing.” had no likes at all.  Perhaps I have confused the masses with my nonsensical update.  A more socially recognisable status is obviously needed.

I shall tell of my annoyance at a customer at work today.  This shall surely pick up a couple of likes.

Time for an experiment, boys and girls.

Facebook.  The social hub of the internet, where everyone, their pet dog and their pet dog’s poo has an account.  Status updates are probably the most frequently used aspect of the site, followed closely by becoming fans of utterly pointless things, such as ‘Whenever I’m telling a story I always say “and I was like.”’

And I was like, get a life.

Anyway, my experiment is going to be focussing on the status updates.  Within status updating, there is “liking” an update, the idea being that if you like what you read, you “like” it.  Thing is, people “like” updates too often, and often they “like” updates that tell of a bad day, or a traumatic experience.  Basically, people will “like” seemingly anything, and that’s what I’m going to test.  How pointless, how nonsensical can my status updates be before people stop “liking” them?

I shall try out various styles of status update.  For example, the emo poet, the pop culture quote and the “omg night out 2night cant w8 lolol”.  But to begin with, I think I’ll just fart out a word at random.  For this I shall use a random word generator.  This one, in fact.  http://watchout4snakes.com/CreativityTools/RandomWord/RandomWordPlus.aspx

My word is “dancing”.  I shall post again after I retrieve my findings.